6.13.2018

(Don't) Walk Away



you are standing there, face pressed into your hands
head bent low, hair tumbled, and body slumped
I pause, hands full of papers and bags and myself
the downtown street is heavy with dusk and the lights flicker
I hear the whisper but stand there, arguing with myself
you remain still, a frozen image of despair
I feel the nudge but stand there, considering my comfort 
you remain stiff, the embodiment of overwhelmed
hands nervously shaking, I walk a few steps closer
the night has fully descended now and the streetlights are glaring
my indecisiveness, my renamed excuses claw at my insides
I take a deep breath, pull my things closer- and walk away


++++++


I don't want to be the kind of person who walks away from a need that I could have met. It could be the smallest thing that means the world to someone (this post comes to mind), or it could be something a little bigger, a little bolder, that shows them Jesus. After all, there's so much in this world that we can't do anything about....so why are we passing up chances right where we are to do something? Let's be in tune to what Jesus wants us to do, and then let's do it. Whether it's to smile, to hug, to speak, to listen, or whatever it may be, let's do something. I don't want to walk away any more. 

+++++


But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? // 1 John 3:17 









And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’ // Matthew 25:40 


5.15.2018

redefine & be redefined

(image via)


there's a lot in life that needs to be redefined
and brought back to what it was originally
because it's been dragged -or has drifted-
so far from the truth 

such
as

courage.
it's not simply a lack of fear
not at all
it's not letting fear overcome you
(because when you do right it will try)

or

hope.
it's not simply a wish
not at all
it's looking forward to a certain future
(because it was laid up for you as of old)

or

love.
it's not simply a feeling
not at all
it's an action and a sacrifice
(because true love will hurt sometimes)

or

faith.
it's not simply blind hope
not at all
it's the proof of what we can't see yet
(because we will in all fullness one day)

or

you.
aren't simply one out of billions
not at all
you have a soul, a mind, and a heart
that longs to love, live, and be loved
(because you were created that way)

so

though the world wants to redefine these things
and many, many others
please remember that you are defined
by the One who made you
by His love and grace
and you are not who you once were
(so please hold these new definitions close)

redefine
and be redefined 

xx

5.02.2018

lead me to the rock {psalm 61}



Hear my cry, O God,
listen to my prayer; 
 i know You hear me
please help me pray like it
from the end of the earth I call to you
when my heart is faint.
You hear me from wherever i am
and however i am 
Lead me to the rock
that is higher than I, 
 i desperately need a shelter
but i can't reach it myself

for you have been my refuge,
a strong tower against the enemy.
even when i can't see it
You have kept me hidden in Your hand

Let me dwell in your tent forever!
Let me take refuge under the shelter of your wings! Selah 

in Your house and in Your presence
is the only place where i am safe

For you, O God, have heard my vows;
you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name.


You have seen my heart's cries and promises
and yet You still call me Yours

Prolong the life of the king;
may his years endure to all generations!

You have preserved the faithful ones
and kept their testimonies for the times to come


May he be enthroned forever before God;
appoint steadfast love and faithfulness to watch over him!

let us remain faithful to You, O Lord
for Your faithful love has guarded us


So will I ever sing praises to your name,
as I perform my vows day after day

You heard my cries; now hear my praise
and tune my soul to sing them forever



lead me to the Rock
that is higher than i
and that is You


4.15.2018

made for another world



i'm not really sure when i first realized it. 
that shocking truth that was the thing i was missing but knew all along. 
the kind of thing that you feel with your soul but can't name.
the kind that burns inside with an indescribable mix of fire and ice.


maybe it was when i was little, pulling the ripe, indigo blackberries off,
popping them into my mouth and feeling the burst of summer in my mouth.
reaching down to pick another, the sharp sting made me pull back.
mommy, what was that? i asked, raising my finger to my mouth.
that's when i learned about the thorns and thistles and briers.
the things that weave themselves in among the best parts of life, 
and just when i least expect it, they reach up and sting.


or maybe it was when i was older, taking the prettiest walk of my life,
strolling along the cobbled lane lined with trees of fire and their autumnal litterings.
the blue, blue sky and the breeze that carried the faint scent of goldenrod,
making something suddenly come alive in my heart.
then i looked up and saw the last thing i expected- the stark contrast.
the rows of  painted gravestones, just beyond the jet black iron fence.
i stared at the out of place scene- and gulped at that stinging inside.


maybe it wasn't either of those times, or any of the others i could drag out of my memory.
maybe it was just one of those things that creep up on you, and you have a moment of realization
but it was so long in coming that so, so many things contributed to it.


however it dawned on me, i will never forget that truth that once was the explanation of so much,
and now is further ingrained on my soul by the chisels of time and experience.

this place has beauty, life, and even love,
but this can't be, won't be, and is not my home.


i was made for another world.



++++++


they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world (John 17:16
but according to His promise we are waiting for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells (2 Peter 3:13)


i find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy. the most probable explanation is that i was made for another world. // c.s. lewis