made for another world

i'm not really sure when i first realized it. 

that shocking truth that was the thing i was missing but knew all along. 

the kind of thing that you feel with your soul but can't name.

the kind that burns inside with an indescribable mix of fire and ice.

maybe it was when i was little, pulling the ripe, indigo blackberries off,

popping them into my mouth and feeling the burst of summer in my mouth.

reaching down to pick another, the sharp sting made me pull back.

mommy, what was that? i asked, raising my finger to my mouth.

that's when i learned about the thorns and thistles and briers.

the things that weave themselves in among the best parts of life, 

and just when i least expect it, they reach up and sting.

or maybe it was when i was older, taking the prettiest walk of my life,

strolling along the cobbled lane lined with trees of fire and their autumnal litterings.

the blue, blue sky and the breeze that carried the faint scent of goldenrod,

making something suddenly come alive in my heart.

then i looked up and saw the last thing i expected- the stark contrast.

the rows of  painted gravestones, just beyond the jet black iron fence.

i stared at the out of place scene- and gulped at that stinging inside.

maybe it wasn't either of those times, or any of the others i could drag out of my memory.

maybe it was just one of those things that creep up on you, and you have a moment of realization

but it was so long in coming that so, so many things contributed to it.

however it dawned on me, i will never forget that truth that once was the explanation of so much,

and now is further ingrained on my soul by the chisels of time and experience.

this place has beauty, life, and even love,
but this can't be, won't be, and is not my home.

i was made for another world.

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they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world (John 17:16) 

but according to His promise we are waiting for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells (2 Peter 3:13)

i find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy. the most probable explanation is that i was made for another world. // c.s. lewis